GoodLife: Peninsula Style, Issue 40, Page 130 (transcription)

OKAY girls, now the dust has settled, I think it s high time we started laying the groundwork for Mother s Day 2012.
Don t get me wrong, it s not that we don t appreciate the tepid tea and macaroni objets d art, we really do, but come on guys, it s not like you didn t know it was coming.
A smidge of forward planning wouldn t go astray.
And yes, we know it s the thought that counts, but when that thought is clearly Oh bugger, is it tomorrow I wonder if the petrol station s still open , it s seriously time for a performance development review.
I distinctly remember having to restrain myself from smacking a bloke whose wife had just given birth to their third child when he casually commented that his wife wasn t his mother, so what was all the fuss about Then, when I asked what he was doing for his mother, he at least had the good grace to look a bit sheepish when he said, Dunno, the Missus usually sorts it .
True story.
Wish it wasn t.
Do you think perhaps we should adopt the lovely old English tradition of Mothering Sunday, although it floats around a bit, falling on the fourth Sunday in Lent or some such.
It s a subtle difference, but a significant one if think putting the emphasis back on saying thank you for a job well done, we appreciate you, at least once a year.
Now we don t have a major problem remembering a few of Julie Andrews favourite things crisp apple strudel anyone So to help the family along I think we need to take a leaf out of the Prep teachers handbook and prepare a handy A-Z chart of Stuff Mum would actually like for Mother s Day and attach it to the back of the toilet door with a big blob of Blu-Tack.
With around 350 days for the information to be absorbed by your captive audience, the chances are good that, come the big day, when you beam Oh, you shouldn t have , you won t simply be stating a fact.
So to get you started, I ll share mine.
And the fact that it s nearly my birthday is sheer coincidence.
Honest.
A is for -a perfect AVOCADO, preferably on sourdough toast with Maldon sea salt and plenty of cracked pepper.
B is for -a BEAGLE puppy.
Oh my god, sooo cute.
With a bow.
Yes please.
C is for -some le CREUSET cookware.
In blue.
D is for -DAPHNE, yes it comes in a pot.
Yes, I know my track record.
But it smells divine.
130 good life, june -july, august 2011 clutterbusting life s messy bits with karen tatman E is for -EGGS, preferably poached.
Yes my three non-laying fine feathered friends, this is directed at you F is for -a jar of proper FIG jam, oh the decadence.
G is for -warm, woolly GLOVES, my favourite winter accessory.
H is for -HAIGHS, the only Australian chocolatiers to perfect the violet cream.
I is for -a big bowl of ICECREAM, preferably Maggie Beer s quince and bitter almond.
Mmmn.
J is for -a pair of JEANS that make my bottom look impossibly small.
K is for -a KITTEN.
With a bow, obviously.
L is for -LOLLIES, especially snakes.
M is for -MARTHA Stewart Living magazine.
The current issue or, even better, a 12 month subscription N is for -NOTHING in the ironing basket, just once.
O is for -ORANGE juice, freshly squeezed.
P is for -PETER ALEXANDER and also pyjamas.
Q is for -perfect QUIET until at least 10am.
R is for -bunny RABBIT, are we spotting the theme here S is for -a game of SCRABBLE, the original and still the best.
T is for -TIFFANYS, a girl can dream.
U is for -was going to say UNDERWEAR, but the likelihood of a good outcome is fairly low, so will say UMBRELLA because I need a new one.
V is for -VIOLETTA perfume.
Smells a bit like the old Yardley April Violets but is made by posh perfumers Penhaligons.
Requires a buying trip to London, but so be it.
W is for -WELLINGTON BOOTS to go with my woolly gloves.
X is for -the XANADU soundtrack.
Didn t see the stage show but its revival made me nostalgic for roller-skates.
Y is for -Grandma YETTA, my favourite character on The Nanny, and the Season 4 DVD box set she comes packed in.
Z is for -ZEBRA, very cool but I probably wouldn t be allowed to keep it.
Okay, done, so do you get the idea Now before anyone starts jumping up and down, I m not suggesting for a moment that hardworking Mums and do you know one that isn t should get EVERYTHING on their list, just one thing or maybe two, if there s a food item involved .
And to be perfectly fair to all the hardworking Dads out there, I have no issue with you guys making your own version of The List come September.
But it s funny isn t it, that for every Mum I know, their greatest treasure isn t anything you can buy, it s the box of handmade cards shedding glitter and dried pasta at a rate of knots from when the children were little, and I LoVE yoU MuMy was all they needed to say, and all you really need to hear.
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